Graduation

Last Friday, my sweetheart graduated from BYU with a major in Italian and a minor in Communications. He has worked so hard and has almost straight A's. I am so proud of him! I kept telling him that over and over. He said that graduation is silly and just a formality. He also feels like it isn't really over because he starts again in the fall. I don't think that it has hit him yet. It probably won't until we are back in Buffalo and he has to watch a BYU football game on TV.

Again, I am so proud of him. He has managed to do the football stuff and Sportsman's Warehouse and go to school and get good grades and deal with me! He is such a great man. I swear he can do everything well. It almost drives me crazy. He is just too perfect, and such a hard worker. I am excited to see where he goes in life and what he accomplishes. I know that no matter what he decides to do that he will be successful. I mean look at everything he has done so far in life! I love him so much and I am astonished and proud of him. And most of all, I am grateful for him and all that he does.

Here we are before.




Here is Spencer walking across the stage.



Here is the stage and all of the professors.



Here we are after the ceremony. I bought Spencer some leis. He gave two of them away (that is just like him...he felt bad for other people and gave them away). I gave him the nut kind and the other one is green, red, and white which are the colors of the Italian flag. Spencer's parents have a similar picture of at graduation with the "Y" in the background.



Here we are again. Spencer liked this picture the best because we are doing what we always do...cuddle.



And here he is with his parents. We were so grateful that they came all the way down to see him graduate. They are so proud of him, too. It was really fun for me to sit with his mom and talk. We usually don't have much time to do that.



We went to dinner at Macaroni Grill afterword. Spencer's parents treated us, which was much too generous. It was really, really fun! We have never had the opportunity to go to dinner with just them and us as couples. What an awesome experience! I really enjoyed myself. I hope that we can spend more time together in the future and get to know each other better.

Jazz Game

Last Thursday (yeah, a week ago...we've been busy), Spencer and I went to a Jazz Playoff Game. The Jazz were playing game 3 against the Houston Rockets. Utah had won the first two games in Houston and were now coming to home-court to play game three. Our friend, Dan, had tickets but wasn't able to go due to a work softball game. He offered to sell the tickets to us and we agreed. So we went.

It was a really close game the whole time. It was really exciting and it was fun to be there with just the two of us. When we first got there, they were giving away white tee-shirts that said "One Team, One Dream." I guess that it the theme for this years playoffs.

It was fight to the very end, and sadly, the Jazz lost in the last seconds. It was very disappointing and frustrating. But there was still another home game to play before going back to Houston, so there was a lot of hope.

This is warm-up.



This is the crowd all in white. Last year, they gave away light blue shirts. I liked that a whole lot better. But it is still nice that they gave us the shirts and that most everyone was wearing them. They would put the people who weren't wearing them up on the big TV above the court and had writing that said to put the shirt on. It was funny.



This is a drum line on garbage cans that they did between quarters or in a time out or something. I liked it. My other favorite was when they did a singing-bee, where someone would karaoke for a little while to a familiar song, and then they would stop putting the words on the TV and the person would have to sing the words correctly to get a prize. I like karaoke.




This is the final score of the game. 94-92, Houston. Sad.




And here is me and my baby at the game.

Meet Bill

This is Bill.

He was given to us by Bentley, Max, Jonah, and Ruby. They made him at the build a bear workshop in the mall.

Here Bill is in his Buffalo Bills football uniform.

He also has a birth certificate.

We're going to miss the Jenny and her family, but at least we have Bill now to remind us of them.

Watch Out Buffalo, Here We Come

So after months of deliberating about what to do and where to go....we finally decided. We are moving to Buffalo, New York in May or June.


Spencer got a position working for the NFL Buffalo Bills. It is a good offer. He also got an offer from the San Francisco 49ers, but they didn't offer as good of a position. So we went with Buffalo. We are both really excited. This is a dream come true for Spencer.

Here is the stadium.




The main reason that we chose Buffalo is because everything seemed to fall into place there. Actually, the funny thing is that in February I gave Spencer a list of cities and schools where both of our programs were offered. I told him to look it over because we probably needed to apply to more schools to increase our options. He said back then that he felt good about Buffalo for some reason. After that, he found out that his program was really good in Buffalo. And I found out that my program was really good. Then he found out that there was this job opening with the Bills, and he applied. When all of those things ended up working out, the choice seemed obvious.

Spencer is planning to attend Canisius for graduate school this fall. He will be working towards a Master's Degree in Athletic/Sports Administration. He may also get his MBA, we haven't decided on that yet. The program that Spencer will be enrolled in includes classes for an MBA, so it wouldn't take him much longer to finish that degree as well. This would also be useful to him in his career.

The Canisius mascot is a griffin. His name is Petey. I think that he looks funny and not very ferocious.

Here is some information about Canisius.

Canisius College is one of 28 Jesuit colleges in the nation and is consistently ranked among the top regional colleges in the Northeast.

Founded in 1870 by German Jesuits, Canisius College is named for St. Peter Canisius, a renowned Dutch educator and one of the original members of the Society of Jesus. What began in a single building in downtown Buffalo now consists of 65 buildings located on 40 acres in a residential neighborhood in North-Central Buffalo.

Mission:
Canisius College is proud to share in the Jesuit heritage, which offers students a highly personalized education solidly based in the liberal arts that emphasizes the development of the whole person. Canisius prepares leaders – intelligent, caring, faithful individuals – able to pursue and promote excellence in their professions, their communities and their service to humanity.

Enrollment:
Undergraduate – 3,591 Full-time – 3,310, Part-time – 281
Graduate – 1,388 Full-time – 691, Part-time – 697
Total number of students – 4,979
42 percent male 58 percent female
35 states represented
22 foreign countries represented

Canisius ranked 25th in the US News and World Report 2005 rankings of Best Universities-Master’s North. The jump of eight positions, from 33 to 25, is the largest jump by any school in the tier.

Here are some pictures of the campus.

I am planning to attend the University at Buffalo, which is a State University of New York (SUNY) college. I will be going to get my masters in nurse anesthesia (CRNA). I probably won't start until next year, but I am still excited. Our mascot is a bull named Victor E. Bull (victory bull, ha ha). He looks ferocious.

And here is a picture of campus. I am really excited to live there in the autumn. I have always wanted to be back east when all of the deciduous trees change colors.

We want to thank everyone for your patience and support while we have been making this difficult decision. Sorry we kept you all waiting so long. We are really going to miss everyone and we hope that in our last few months here we will be able to spend quality time with our family and friends. We also hope that the distance between us won't change how close we are. We love you all and hopefully we can stay in touch and visit often.

Emo Side Project

So I have heard some songs on the radio by a group Emo Side Project. The problem is that I can't actually find their music anywhere. They are a group from somewhere in Texas. And I really like their music, but it can't be found in stores or online or anywhere. It isn't even on i-tunes. I am frustrated. If anyone can help, I would appreciate it.

This is my favorite song. It's called Twitterpated.

i know those thing you say will make my every day
we'll be together for tonight and i hope
you'll be close to me you're my everything
i’ll fall in love with you again and again

if i could tell you one more thing
i’d tell you that i love you
and i want to hold you
kiss you all over
and we'll be together
and i’ll be so twitterpated

i’ll hold your hand and
sing you every song i wrote for you
i’d do you hair until
you fall asleep on my lap
and sing right back to me
you're my everything
i’ll sign our names upon this moon tonight

if i could tell you one more thing
i’d tell you that i love you
and i want to hold you
and kiss you all over
and we'll be together forever

i’ll love you till the day i die
and whisper words you'd wanna hear
and i love you so much baby
you’re my perfect lady
i'm so lost in this dream

Alphabet Beej

A-Attached or Single? Attached.

B-Best Friend? Spencer and Kar.

C-Cake or Pie? Cake, most of the time.

D-Day of Choice? Sunday. It is the only day that Spencer and I might get to be together. And Lazy Sunday....what more can I say....

E-Essential Item? Deodorant, contacts, toothbrush. I don't know... I freak out without my wedding band...

F-Favorite Color? Blue or green.

G-Gummy bears or worms? It depends. Probably worms, unless cinnamon bears was an option.

H-Hometown? IF

I-Favorite Indulgence? Cuddling.

J-January or July? July. I love the Fourth of July. And after surviving it in Arizona, anywhere else is perfect temperature for me.

K-Kids? Do dogs count?? How about husbands??

L-Life isn't complete without? My sweetheart.

M-Marriage date? June 23, 2006

N-Number of brothers and sisters? three hot sisters

O-Oranges or apples? Apples. I like them both, but I have a hard time with the texture of oranges. Plus oranges are harder to eat. I really love a sour, green apple. Yum.

P-Phobia or fears? I am scared of suffocating or drowning. More specifically being buried alive. The whole process of consciously dying does not sound fun to me.

Q-Quote? All that jelly and no toast!

R-Reason to smile? I am moving and won't have to deal with work drama anymore...

S-Season of choice? Spring.

T-Tag 3 people: No.

U-Unknown facts about me? I was on the debate team in high school to get my speech credit. I had to compete to pass the class. So I went to the competition and totally won. I even got a big trophy.

V-Vegetable? I love veggies. My favorite is cauliflower, then broccoli, then cabbage, then lettuce, then spinach.... However, I do NOT like beets, zucchini (unless it is made into bread), yams, or sweet potatoes.

W-Worst habit? Biting my cheeks and nails. I also clench my jaw a lot.

X-X-ray or ultrasound? Ultrasound. They can be therapeutic.

Y-Your favorite food? Bean burritos.

Z-Zodiac sign? Capricorn.

Astrologers broadly agree that the following are the characteristics of Capricorn: The Capricorn person is prudent, responsible, realistic, very wise, formal, patient, methodical, disciplined, traditional, cautious, conventional, hard-working, polite, persevering, ambitious, dedicated, focused, honest, dependable, serious, self-reliant, businesslike, career-oriented, authoritative, conscientious, and competent.

Likes — Romance, loyalty, feeling secure, financial/material stability, ambitious mates, feeling committed, making long term relationship plans, dependability, reliability, perseverance.

Dislikes — Flightiness, being bossed around, crudeness/coarseness, dominance, game playing, ego displays, extravagance, being challenged by a lover, indecisiveness.

Suitable occupations often cited are - any capacity of authority, doctor, lawyer, accountant, politician, teacher, principal, engineer, farmer, anything math related

Physical traits
Many astrologers believe that each sign of the zodiac has identifiable physical traits. Some find that physically, individuals born under the sign of Capricorn tend to have dark hair, steady eyes, a dark complexion, capable hands, and prominent cheekbones.

NCAA Basketball Championship

Last night was the NCAA Men's Basketball Championship game. It was between the Kansas Jayhawks and the Memphis Tigers. It was played in San Antonio, Texas. This was probably the most exciting championship game that I have ever seen. What a game!! The whole game was exciting, well played, and very close scoring. I couldn't have asked for more. There was excellent demonstrations of athleticism by these guys last night. There was a lot of good passing and shooting and even showy things like ally-oops and slam-dunks. I was completely entertained.

The only thing lacking was free throws. That is what cost Memphis the game. It has been a weakness for them throughout this tournament, and it came back to bite them in the booty. With the way that Memphis was at the free-throw line, you would think that they were playing with bricks. Memphis missed four of five free throws that would have put the game and the title out of reach. The Tigers led by nine points with 2:12 remaining. They still held a three-point lead with 10 seconds left. And they let the game get away from them in overtime of the 75-68 loss to the Jayhawks

With 10.8 seconds on the clock, Derrick Rose from Memphis was fouled and had two shots. The score was 62-60, with Memphis up by two. If he made both free-throws, it would become a two possession game, making it impossible to tie. If he made one, then only a three-point shot would send them into overtime. His first shot hit the rim and fell off. He made the second, but the one miss gave Kansas its opportunity to tie.



Kansas had the ball with no timeouts, trailing by three, and with the 10.8 seconds left to make that three-point shot. It was Collins who pushed the ball downcourt, going just fast enough so that the Tigers couldn't foul him and take away the chance to attempt the needed 3-pointer and basically end the game. Sherron Collins handed off to Mario Chalmers at the top of the 3-point line, and Chalmers took the shot. It hit nothing but net and tied the score at 63. Overtime.

Kansas dominated in overtime. Every player made a point in overtime. It was a well-deserved win by Kansas. They won 75-68. Only Chris Douglas-Roberts made points for Memphis. They missed rebounds and just didn't play well enough in overtime.




The Story of Miracle Mario (taken from ESPN news)

The shot that saved a season took just a moment -- a Shining Moment, you could say. After hitting the biggest Final Four jumper since Keith Smart's in 1987, Mario Chalmers summoned his mother, Almarie, down from the Alamodome stands to courtside. The unflappable Kansas Jayhawk wrapped both arms around her, laid his head on her shoulder and bawled like a baby.
She pumped her left arm. He wouldn't let go.
"We did it, Mom," Chalmers said between sobs.
"A dream come true," Almarie said later, her own eyes glistening. "A prayer answered. We've been waiting on this moment since he was 2."
This moment -- this Shining Moment -- was almost preordained four years earlier, when Mario went to the Final Four in this same building with his dad, current Kansas director of basketball operations Ronnie Chalmers. They watched Connecticut beat Georgia Tech for the title, and Ronnie remembers one spectacular play from that game when he jumped to his feet but Mario remained in his chair.
"What's wrong?" Ronnie asked his son.
"I'm thinking," Mario said.
"What are you thinking about?"
"One day," Mario said, "I'm going to be out there winning the national championship."
That goal guided the Chalmers family from Alaska to Kansas three years ago. It guided them to this game and ultimately to this moment -- this Shining Moment -- that rescued Kansas from near-certain defeat and gave the 2008 NCAA tournament its signature.
Chalmers' shot capped the Jayhawks' steely nine-point comeback in the final 2:12 of regulation on their way to a 75-68 overtime triumph. It was the blow that broke an excellent Tigers squad -- a Tigers squad that turned the school's first championship into a stunning championship choke.
"You have a lead like that," coach John Calipari said, "you're supposed to win the game."
The emotional whiplash that followed Chalmers' 3-pointer with 2.1 seconds remaining will be felt for years on both campuses. Memphis will always love a team that finished 38-2 -- but always wince at the way it unraveled at the very end. And giddy Kansas now has another name to add to its list of all-time heroes: Clyde Lovellette, Wilt Chamberlain, Danny Manning …
Mario Chalmers.
"It will probably be the biggest shot in Kansas history," coach Bill Self said.
"It's great for a parent to see their son's dream come true. … You've got to think about it every day the rest of your life. This is the moment."
One Shining Moment.



The Jayhawks won the championship for the first time in 20 years. And they deserved it. They played the best last night.

"Being up seven, being down nine, being up two, down five, going to overtime," Kansas center Cole Aldrich said. "We fought it out, and it's surreal. It's nuts."

This game was not about coaches or side stories, though. It was about the game, and what a dandy it was -- a well-needed reprieve from a more-or-less blah tournament in which 42 of 63 games were decided by double digits. This was the first overtime in the title game since 1997, when Arizona beat Kentucky 84-79.



What a great way to finish this year's March Madness. I was somewhat disappointed in this year. Most of the games were blowouts and I'm really disappointed that ALL of the number one seed teams made the Final Four. That really bothers me.

Spencer and I were in charge of the brackets for our group of friends. Here is our Bracket of Truth, which says how the tournament went. Doing these with Spencer has been one of my favorite pastimes. I like highlighting and crossing out and seeing who is in what place. I have no idea why it is so much fun to me, but it is. I especially like to do it with Spencer. It's weird, I know, but I just go with it.



And now...the news that we all have been waiting for. The standings.


Dan D. 74
Toby 72
Dave 71
JP 71
Lisa 71
Thatcher 70
Karissa 69
Dan C. 65
Brianna 63
Spencer 62
Jenny 61
Mark 60
Jorden 56
Troy 34

The winner is Dan Ditto!! Yay dirty little homeless monkey!





This is the first year that a girl has not won. I was really hoping that Lisa would win. She got very close, but just not quite there.

I am always sad when March Madness is over. It is fun and I like to be competitive with the brackets (especially with Spencer...notice that I beat him, AGAIN). But I always manage to survive without it. The nice thing about sports is that they have spaced the exciting parts of the season out so that there is always something new of interest to replace the thing that just ended. For example, now we are going to be focused on NBA playoffs. So I bid March Madness a fond farewell. Until next year.

By the way, we are still going to do brackets next year even though we aren't living here. Distance does not mean that we stop sacred traditions.

Also of note, the boys play anther bracket game with Dave's dad. He wins every year. Guess what....he won yet again. Congrats Mark! We need to pick a playoff game to take you to...

In addition, we want to thank Dan and Jorden for having us over to their house again. We watched the game at their house with our other friends Dave and Brooke and Dan Ditto. It was really fun. I love to watch all of the guys together. They used to be roommates, and they are hilarious when you get them all together. They have a lot of inside jokes and it is so funny. It was extra funny for me because I am still on drugs for my kidney pain. I had a really good time. And I keep getting really sad about not living near you guys anymore...

The Kidney Stone Lives On

So after my kidney stone incident last Wednesday, I was doing pretty good. I was really excited and thinking that I was all in the clear...so I went to work on Friday. By the end of the shift, I wanted to seriously die. It was traumatic for me. But I made it through and thought that after resting I'd be okay. This was not the case at ALL. Saturday the stent began to take its revenge for me killing the stone or something. My kidney/ureter really, really started to hurt. So I had to take my pain pills. This meant that I was too high to go to work. So I had to waste my sick days on this crap. And it continued to get WORSE. All day Sunday I thought that I was going to die. I was ready to stab a knife into myself to see if somehow that would help. I almost went to the ER just to get IV pain medicine because I just couldn't take it. I had to miss yet ANOTHER day of work. I'm really upset about it. We are going in to the doctor first thing in the morning to see if there is something else wrong or if I just have to wait it out. I feel like a wuss, though. And people at work are probably rolling their eyes at my sick days. But I seriously can't help it. I am officially cursing anyone who is thinking that I making up this kind of pain to get out of work. Yes. I am cursing you to get kidney stones. Ha, ha! I seriously don't want to miss work because I need the money. And nothing is worth this pain. Nothing.

Okay. So I am hurting and bitter. I'm in so much pain that I can't sleep. Plus, the pain and pain meds are making me nauseous and I am puking a lot. I can't eat and I can't move and my pee comes out in painful spurts. I am officially miserable. I can't imagine what people used to do about kidney stones before surgery. They probably killed themselves. I know that I would have. Just know that you never, ever want to have this experience.

Some Thoughts About Kidney Stones and Life...

Kidney stones have taught me the meaning of agony. From them, I have also learned the limits of my own weak self. I've often wondered how I would withstand great pain. I mean the pain of the body, that which registers on the nerves, not that of loss or deprivation that ravishes our emotional life, but true physical pain. I have often thought highly of my tolerance to physical pain. I have endured broken bones, torn tendons, sprained ankles, pulled muscles, etc. But the pain from kidney stones is in its own separate pain category.

After having had kidney stones once, I have thought about what it would be like to suffer that pain again. When the pain came, would I behave with some amount of stoicism and even grim humor, like the protagonists in Hemingway novels whom I so admired? Or would I moan and howl in sounds far beyond intelligible human speech like some of my patients?

Who would have thought that such excruciating pain could come from something as tiny as a ureter-- certainly a person wouldn't even be aware that they possessed such a thing as a ureter until a bit of solid matter larger than the ureter's diameter attempted to pass through them on a painful, shearing journey to the outside world.

The unknowing victim has no idea what he/she is about to experience as this crystal breaks off from the kidney and descends into the ureter. A sudden, fiery shot of pain shoots through your side. It is like someone has stabbed you with a sharp, fine blade. But no simile can adequately describe this pain, it can only be experienced to be understood. We can know the concrete causes of this pain, like the pressure of the urine that is dammed up and backing up on the kidney causing damage to the kidney itself and the splitting of the flesh in the ureter from the sharp edges of the stone, but the resultant pain is an abstraction. And like all abstractions it lies beyond the precise grasp of language. We simply don't have the words. We have trouble, then, describing our own pain and another's pain, even when it manifests itself in grimacing or writhing. Ultimately it remains metaphysical -- something to doubt. And when you are the person experiencing this indescribable, abstract, human experience and there are people around you that are doubting it...it becomes infuriating.

It is these experiences that remind me that I cannot judge another person. I cannot adequately judge their pain or their human experience or their actions or ANYTHING. The same way that I don't want people to judge me or to think that they understand what it is that I am experiencing. How can anyone judge how pain feels to someone else?

With these kidney attacks that I have been continuing to survive (because yes, each episode is most definitely something to be survived, and I am barely able to do so), I try multiple relief methods. First, I go for the drugs. But there is a time delay in the ingesting of said medicine and the actual relief. Ice packs have proven to be more effective than the heating pads. I have tried pacing, hot baths, breathing exercises, imagining myself in a serene environment. I massage my side and twisted this way and that, but no amount of repositioning or rubbing can relieve the sharp, fiery blade shooting through the small tunnel in my abdomen. It nearly equals the spectacular sensation of bringing a hammer down upon your thumb, but that is brief in comparison, a few minutes of localized agony that then settles into a bearable throbbing. The pain in the side from kidney stones is not just severe, but unrelenting: a continuous deep gnawing coupled with hot and cold sweats, nausea and other blades of pain that radiated throughout the confused coils of my digestion, causing more mischief there.

Even though I know that nothing will work, I continue to search for that miracle trick for pain relief. I bit my fist, I rub my temples, I swear out loud. I often find myself repeating "I just wish that I was dead." I think that at least I wouldn't be in that pain anymore. I have even contemplated causing myself a serious injury somewhere else in my body just to be a distraction from this stabbing side pain. At one point, I curled up on the floor like the fetus I wished then to be. But no measure I took lessened the pain. I just have to endure it until my pain medicine kicks in.

I do have one very wonderful thing working for me....Spencer. What a sweetheart. I think that I would just die without him. He has been so wonderful throughout this whole ordeal....BOTH times. He has been so patient with me. I am very grouchy and short-tempered when I am in pain (even more so than usual). The thing that works the very best is when he rubs lotion on my body. For some reason, along with all of this pain and discomfort in my side, my whole body feels like it is on fire. I think that it might be the medicine or something. It makes me itch, first of all. But in addition, my skin feels like there is something toxic in it. Not to mention that my muscles are tight from contracting with the pain. I don't know why muscles do that (tighten in a feeble attempt to relieve pain), but it doesn't work and actually causes more pain. On top of which I have a ghastly headache from the medicine and vomiting and pain. My whole body just aches.

Spencer is such a sweetheart. He rubs yummy-smelling lotion all over my body. It is so completely soothing and refreshing. It also helps to distract from the pain. It is the perfect solution to helping me endure until the medicine begins to take the edge off of the pain shooting down my side. And somehow, just having someone be there with you and holding you and cheering you on through the painful episode is so very helpful. I think that this is part of the reason for Lamaze classes. It really does help to have someone on your side, supporting you through something painful.

Finally, the pain starts to subside. And I can begin to feel like I am not actually going to die from the pain. The worst part about this, however, is the peculiar despair that I hold in my heart. I know that this is only temporary. And I know that this is not the last painful episode that I am going to have to endure. The relief that I feel, and pure elation in having that horrific pain subdued, is tainted by knowing that this is only a temporary release....that the pain, yes THAT pain, is going to return in all its fury. I try to push this foreboding to the back of my head and enjoy this time that I can actually think and function.

The pain medicine comes with its consequences, however. It doesn't take long for it to throw me into a fit of dry-heaving and vomiting. It also causes me a severe headache. Typically, headaches are difficult for me to tolerate. But when they are so closely compared to the kidney pain, they seem like trifles on the pain scale.

This whole experience puts Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs Theory into perspective. Something like a tiny (and I mean tiny) rock turned my whole world upside down. Everything in life becomes unimportant and obscure. The only thing that exists is the pain. And the only thing that matters is relieving that pain. This pain reduced me to a single inflamed nerve and little more. After it was gone, my self returned but an eerie feeling stayed with me. Our psychology, our spirituality, the value systems by which we live are only possible in the absence of ill health or pain. Our essence disappears into great pain, revealing all that we hold dear to be the most fragile of luxuries. Essentially, we typically function on a higher level of Maslow's pyramid. But pain and illness can knock us down from that level very easily. We can be going along striving to achieve self-actualisation and all of the sudden we turn to a primitive version of ourselves, seeking only to satisfy our basic needs. I have seen this happen in a variety of situations. Take for example, a pregnant woman. When she gets hungry, watch out! There is nothing that will come between her and food. Each time that I have had kidney stones, I have gone to extreme lengths to get it taken care of. I have acted unlike myself and been pretty pushy about getting taken care of. That is what pain will do to you.

The scary thing about illness/pain, is that it is almost completely out of our control. Anyone can become very seriously injured or ill at any moment. There is nothing that can be done to guarantee the prevention of poor health. In my profession, I see it all of the time. You'll be just going through life and then the floor literally falls out from beneath you and your whole world changes. And then you find yourself at the bottom of the pyramid wondering what in the heck just happened and how you are going to meet your basic needs.

Sorry to get all philosophical. I have a lot of painful time on my hands. Here is a copy of Maslow's pyramid.

Please pray that I will never get these again. And pray that I will be able to go back to work so that I can pay all of my bills. And feel free to send me money for my kidney stone foundation.

Happy Birthday Daddy-O!!

Today was my dad's 54th Birthday!! I didn't get to see him, but I caught him tonight to wish him a happy birthday. My card was delayed due to kidney stones, so he didn't even get that on time. I feel bad about that, but lets face it. I am always late on everything.

My poor dad's birthday falls in the middle of tax season, which makes it really hard for him, as he is an accountant. It really breaks my heart that he always has to be smack-dab in the center of chaos every year on his birthday. He hardly gets to celebrate at all, and he is usually exhausted. It is too bad that his birthday doesn't fall just after tax season. (The funny thing is that his first born child actually was born the day after tax day, April 16. We have all joked that it was either fate or that my dad told my mom to hold it in until after tax season... In any case, it is pretty funny.)

I guess that my dad was able to get away and go to dinner and a show at the Colonial theater with my mom tonight. I'm glad that they at least got to do something. Again, I just feel so bad for him. This time of year is so hard on him.

Here are some pictures of my dad. They are the only ones that I had readily available on my computer. But he is so photogenic that I'm sure that they will be fine. This is from Christmas 1.5 years ago, when we were doing Karyoke (it's a family favorite).









My dad has a beautiful voice. I have always enjoyed hearing him sing. I don't think that he thinks that it is good, but I do. It is very pure and just pleasant. Some of my favorite memories of my dad are when he would come home and turn on the stereo and sing along to music by Chicago, and the Beatles, and other oldies. He would dance around and sing. I have always enjoyed those times.

A few things about my dad... He is very generous. This is something that I am proud to say that I have gotten from him. He gets mad at me because I easily get carried away in my generosity, but he does the exact same thing.

He is very kind and has always been helpful to his friends, neighbors, and family. He has always taken his church callings seriously and done a good job at them.

He is known for his integrity. This has always been something very important to my dad. He is a very good man and very honest in all of his interactions.

He is very smart. My dad has always been really smart. He is very good with numbers and is very practical and reasonable.

He is fun-loving. He is often seen in public as very professional, but every once in a while he will let loose and goof-off. It is really cute when he does. He makes me laugh. I love when he dances and acts silly. Nerts has been a favorite in our family because we all get pretty crazy in that game. I will never forget dad's saying "I'm just sittin' here, poopin' my pants!" I about died. He is also seen skiing and boating and golfing with his family. I appreciate these times that I get to have fun with my dad. I also like to talk sports with my dad. It's been something that we have been able to share.

My dad is a hero. He has been such a great father and helped all of his children out of multiple crisis's. He is a rescuer, but he doesn't make you feel stupid when he helps you out. He is so sweet and generous about it. He is also good at overlooking your shortcomings. I have really appreciated this quality in my dad. I am so far from perfect and have made so many mistakes, but he has always stood by me and loved me anyways. I am so grateful to him for this.

Dad, I want you to know that I am eternally grateful for you. You are wonderful. You are one-of-a-kind. And I just love you. I appreciate everything that you have done for me. You have come so far in your life and you should be proud of yourself. I know that I am proud of you, and proud to call you Dad. I love you so much. I know that I don't express my affection or appreciation very well or often enough, but I want you to know that I love you. And I think the world of you. I hope that we can continue to grow closer in our relationship and that distance doesn't mean that we will grow apart. I am grateful that you were born, and so today, your birthday, know that you are loved and appreciated, especially in this difficult time at work. We have all appreciated the hard work that you have done over all of these years and all that you have given to us. Thank you, daddy. We love you.

Kidney Stones, Again!! And a shout out to Peter, my kidney stoned bro

Well...this week, I got kidney stones. Yep, again. This time wasn't nearly as bad as it was last October, in which I had to go to the ER multiple times and then I finally had surgery when it was really bad and my ureters had already been severely damaged. I had to stay in the hospital for a while and was laid up for a couple of weeks. This time, it was much, much better.

On Tuesday, my left side hurt a little bit. I thought that it might be back pain, or kidney stones, or even appendicitis because it kind of hurt over into my epigastric area. I took a pain pill and took it pretty easy that day. I felt okay that night and the next morning, so I went to work. I was actually feeling pretty good until 8:00. It started to hurt again. I thought that maybe it would be like the day before I would just have to deal with it. By 9:00, it had gotten awful and I was diaphoretic and nauseated. I told my charge nurse and said that I needed to go to the ER. But I had to wait until my replacement got there. It was about 11:00 by the time I my replacement had gotten there and I gave report and got down to the ER. I didn't get back into the actual ER until 12:00. By this time I was in so much pain that I was on the verge of tears. However, I work with a lot of people there and I didn't want to be seen crying in front of them.

Well, the nurse that I had was really overwhelmed and busy and so I kind of went over his head on some things. The ER doctor hadn't even seen me and they hadn't given me any narcotics for pain and it had been another hour. I was frustrated, so I called my urologist from before directly. I called the office first and it had a number to reach him. The funny thing is that I called that number and it was to his cell phone. I was a little embarrassed about that, but I explained who I was and what the situation was. He was really nice. I really like him and his whole group that he works with. They are really chill about me calling them and stuff. He said that he was actually heading down to IMC hospital (where I was at) and would be there in an hour. He had me write down some tests and drugs for me to take. I got off the phone with him and the ER doctor came in. I told her what the doctor had wanted done and that he was coming straight to the ER in the next hour. She was like, "Oh. You just did my whole job for me, didn't you?" I was kind of embarrassed, but I told her that they all seemed busy and I thought that this would help everyone out. I wanted to ask her if that meant that I didn't have to pay her, but she didn't seem like she would laugh, so I didn't. So she put in the orders and I finally got some pain medicine and my CT scan. I actually got onto the computer and looked at the CT scan before anyone else had. The nurse walked in as we were looking at it and freaked out. I apologized. He finally figured out who I was and where I worked. I think that he felt a little silly that he hadn't put it together yet. I explained that I knew I wasn't supposed to look at the computer when I wasn't an employee, but I also said that if I got into trouble that I have the right to my own information and the doctor would come in and show me soon anyways. He warned me that I might get flagged, but I didn't care and apologized for freaking him out again.

The urologist showed up and we looked at the scan together and talked about options. Spencer was there with me, he left work to come be with me through it. The stone was 6-7 mm, which I would not likely be able to pass. The doctor had to go to surgery for another patient and said that he might be able to squeeze us in afterwords. He left so that Spencer and I could talk about it. We decided to just do the surgery because it would probably need to be done anyways. I knew the number to the OR, so I just called up there and asked for Dr. Waterman. They asked if I was a nurse, and I said yes, because I am one. So they transferred me to him. I said that we wanted to do the surgery so he said to get the nurse to get the paper work and get me up there in the next half of an hour. So I called the nurse and told him what was up. I think it tripped him out that I was doing all of his work for him. So we got all ready and got up there fast. He must have told the OR nurses when he was getting report about how I was a nurse in shock trauma ICU and he probably told him how crazy I was and a difficult patient because I just kind of took over my own care, because the nurses knew that I was a nurse when I got up there. I think that the nurse was a little upset about it all, but maybe deep down a little relieved. I wasn't mean to him or anything. I just laughed because he kept telling me things in lay person terms: "Now this is a pain medicine called dilaudid. It should help with your pain." I just laughed under my breath at all this and acted like I was stupid, "Oh, okay..." It was funny to me. Especially when he tried to act like Tordol was going to help my excruciating kidney stone pain. I wanted to call his bluff on that one, but I didn't because I use the same trick.

Anyways, the OR nurses knew that I was a big "shock trauma nurse." This is a big deal to people in the health care in Utah. We have a name that precedes us everywhere we go, but we are usually called "shock trauma bitch" behind our backs. It is a sad truth. I had no idea about this reputation when I came up there to work because I was from out of state. But I have been put in my place and learned it well since then.

Recently, one of our nurses was transferring a patient to another floor. There were some misunderstandings and miscommunications and the nurse up on that floor was being really rude and our nurse needed to leave but the floor nurse wouldn't go look at the patient. Well, after waiting a half of an hour, our nurse told the floor nurse to go see the patient because she needed to leave. They had a little bit of a confrontation and the floor nurse actually called her "shock trauma whore!" The nurse was like "I can hear you." It got written up and spread through our unit like wildfire. Yeah, that floor nurse has no hope for ever, ever working on our unit. She might as well leave the state. We really can be bitches, even me. Although, I really try not to be.

Anyways, so I went in for surgery and the funniest part of all...the anesthesiologist that came out to talk to me was one that I had written up for making a mistake. He had at one point after the incident e-mailed me to personally apologize. He didn't even recognize me. Or at least, if he did recognize me, he hid it really, really well. I just started laughing again, but didn't say anything. After all, my life was about to be in his hands. And it would be better if he didn't remember. He had the ability to make me really, really nauseous afterwords. The whole thing was really awkward...having to be a patient where I worked. It reiterated to me how much I dread getting in a trauma. I couldn't cope with have my close co-workers working on me. I knew one of the OR nurses but not the other one. They were really nice to my face, but who knows when I was under anesthesia....

The doctor told Spencer that it was a really good thing that we decided to do the surgery. He said that the stone was stuck where my ureter got a lot smaller. He said that there was no way that it would have passed on its own. He also said that doing it so quickly would minimize the swelling and damage done. I found this out later, and I was really glad that we had gone for it while we could.

I came to...eventually. I was pretty out of it at first. I hate that time when I am awake but it is hard to stay coherent. I was put in same day surgery for a few hours. I had a really sweet nurse taking care of me. She was really funny and Spencer liked her a lot. I guess her daughter works in thoracic ICU. I didn't recognize the name, and she thought that I would, but I didn't. I felt pretty good, so we went home. We stopped at Costco on the way and got me a hot dog. I have been craving them for like a month now.

Today, I haven't needed to use the oral narcotics once. It only hurts when I have to pee. So I pee a lot. I have a stent in on the left side, and I can get it out on Monday. When I have to pee, I think that the stent makes my ureter spasm and it hurts like there is no tomorrow...but after that it settles down. I am going to try to go to work tomorrow. I told them that as long as I could pee every 30-60 minutes that I would be alright and to keep someone on call just in case I can't handle it. They said that it would be fine. We'll see how it goes. But so far, this was so much better than the last kidney stone experience.

They think that my stones are probably caused by uric acid (possibly a problem caused by my chemo treatments). So they will hopefully put me on a medicine call Allopurinol, which is supposed to help break uric acid down.

In fact, I read an article that shows how humans are not from monkeys because monkeys can break down uric acid better than humans and therefore don't get kidney stones. It goes on to use it as an example of how we were created by God and not completely by evolution. It was meant to replace your faith in God, but I'm not sure how I feel about the idea that God gave us kidney stones on purpose. Maybe it is a way to humble people. I tell you what...that pain is truly humbling. And it definitely pulls you down on your knees. I don't know. I just found that article interesting.

I will let you know how the rest of the kidney stone thing goes. I sure hope that this is my last. I have been humbled enough. There is one more small one hanging out in my kidney, I just hope that it comes out small and that we don't have to pay for this again. I am so done!

I also want to shout out to my brother-in-law, Pete. He just did this last week. He still has his stent in. So we are bonding through our pain. Pete, I literally feel for you at this very moment. I hope that we both can never have these again. Nat and Mom, I know that you can feel for us, too (they have had them before). So Pete, hand in there. You'll get the stent out soon, and it will get better. I hope that they put you on that medicine, too. Spencer's boss, Mick, used to get kidney stones and since he has taken this medicine, he has had one again. Anyways, I've been thinking about you. And thanks for your shout out to me on your blog. I appreciate it.


Here is a joke about kidney stones. If you have never had one, this is seriously how it feels. I describe it as a knife being dragged through your side up-and-down, over-and-over. It is horrific pain.




Kidney stone crystals, coloured scanning electron micrograph (SEM). Kidney stones are usually formed by the precipitation of the mineral salt calcium oxalate from the urine. The resulting hard, round stones (calculi) may cause severe pain, especially as they pass down the urinary tract. Large stones may need to be surgically removed or broken down using ultrasound therapy

Yeah, an up-close kidney stone. It tears and caused pain, but the real pain is when it blocks your urine from coming down to your bladder. It backs up in your kidney and causes swelling in your kidney and ureter from all of the pressure and the acidity just sitting there. It is just horrible.






And here are some stones.
The one on the right is about my size, 6-7 mm. The one on the left is about 4 mm.





Here is a poem I found:



A kidney stone
A thing so small
Is hardly worth a mention
Unless your trying to pass the things
They quickly get your attention
There is a cure
I promise you
That this is not a joke
Puree a bunch of asparagus
And chase with a liter of coke


Some "cures" if you ever have to pass them because they are too small for surgery:
Beer
Asparagus
Apple cider vinegar – (1 T. daily for two weeks to help digest stones)

What Disney Villain Are You?

I decided to take the Villain personality tests, too. I took more than the ones that I put on here, but every single time I was Maleficent. This is really funny because when I was in junior high, there was a guy that used to call me this. I'm okay with it actually. She is a pretty villain. Sleeping Beauty is one of my favorite Disney movies. And I really, really like dragons. Besides, she was just getting revenge for being blown off by people who she thought were her friends and then didn't invite her to the biggest party of the century... I don't really like Aurora all that much anyways...she has no personality. Maleficent has WAY more personality and attitude. If I was Aurora and my parents tried to tell me who I had to marry and what to do...I would freak out. No way that would happen! Aurora needs to buck up.

I'm not fond of the raven. He bugs me.



How cool is it that she can burst into flames? And what great entrances and exits. Very cool.


And turning into a dragon...yeah, she's an awesome villain.



Bring it on!



Villain Test

Who's your Disney villain alter ago?
You scored as a Maleficent
Maleficent
75%
Scar
65%
Cruella DeVil
50%
Captain Hook
40%
The Wicked Queen
40%


Other Villain Test

Maleficent
You`re most like Maleficent. She was the most evil Villain of them all. Her long black dress with purple and blue flames topped off with devil horns, she definitely fits the part. She overreacts to everything...She tried to kill Princess Aurora just because she wasn`t invited to the party. With every strike of your staff, you are the ultimate nemisis.

You're MALEFICENT....And like that name, you are magnificent and malicious. You are possibly the most evil of the Disney Villains and destroy lives for the fun of it. You are dominating, dark, brilliant, and the coolest!Random Title: You are also known as "The Mistress of Evil".

Disney Princess Personality Tests

So I haven't been able to sleep recently. I took a personality quiz in college that told you which Disney princess you were most like. Back then it said that I was Belle. So tonight, I decided to look for that quiz on-line. I couldn't find it... But I found some others. I took a few of them, and a couple of them I took twice to see if it would make a difference if I changed the answers that I was feeling a couple of different ways about.



I guess that over all...I am most like Belle and Pocahontas, and a little bit Cinderella.





What do you guys think?? Who am I the most like??







Here are the tests and my results:





You are Pocahontas. You defy convention and sometimes do what is considered taboo. Unfortunately, others do not always appreciate your differences, so it's good that you are so strong-willed. You are loyal and you believe in fate. Your true love will find you one day. and you believe in fate. Your true love will find you one day.





Test One





According to the answers you have just chosen you are most like the Disney Princess Pocahontas. Pocahontas, the beautiful daughter of Chief Powahatan, is a playful free spirited young woman who knows every tree waterfall and wild creature in her forest home. With a name that means little mischief. Pocahontas loves adventure and excitement. Her curiosity and independance make her a strong girl whose passionate spirit touches and changes all those who know her.





According to the answers you have just chosen you are most like the Disney Princess Belle. Belle is as lovely as her name implies but her natural unaffected beauty is far more than skin deep. An intelligent and avid reader Belle yearns for faraway places and exciting adventures. She is a loyal, loving daughter and when the beast finally wins her trust she gives him all her kindness and patience and then realizes she has also given him her heart. With her inner strength and outward beauty, Belle is a young woman who can and does make things happen.





Test Two





Cinderella. Dignified and hard working. With a gentle and soft-spoken manner you have something many people don't. Patience. Even through the moments of heartbreak you're still able to hold onto all of your hopes and dreams. Bide your time; your dream will come true.





Ariel. Headstrong and fiesty. You have a mind of your own that's full of romantic dreams about the world around you. Exploring exotic places is your ultimate dream, and although you can be a little naive you'll realize that there is something to be gained from your family's wisdom.





Test Three






You scored as a Princess Belle!
You are almost like Belle! You always dream! You love books! You have a good heart, but your life is full of challenges, especially your lovelife! You love some pretty things in your hair!
Princess Belle!
80%
Princess Pocahontas!
70%
Princess Ariel!
67%
Princess Aurora!
57%
Princess Jasmine!
47%
Princess Cinderella!
40%
Princess Mulan!
40%
Princess Snow White!
20%





Test Four





You are the gorgeous Cinderella, the belle of the ball. You believe that dreams do come true, and you wish your dreams will bring you your Prince Charming to save you from the work that has been unfairly placed on your shoulders. Just call on that Fairy Godmother of yours to help you live happily ever after!





Test Five





You are most like Belle. You like adventure and have a pretty curious side. You do not like people who lose their tempers easily.





Test Six






Which Disney Princess Are You Most Like? (thorough!)
You scored as a Belle
You are Belle!
Belle
93%
Pocahontas
90%
Mulan
80%
Jasmine
77%
Ariel
70%
Snow White
67%
Cinderella
67%
Sleeping Beauty
47%





Test Seven

I like this test, too: Personality Test
It is often used by companies in the human resources department.

31 to 40 points: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest...Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.

There is also one about sleeping position.

People who sleep in the fetal position long for security, intimacy and joy.Take relationships slowly.Tend to look at the world in rosy colors, and treat people kindly.Are sensitive, though they may present a tough exterior to the world.May appear shy at times or when meeting people for the first time.