I am Brianna or Beej (so you don't have to look at the bottom of the post to figure out if it's me or Spence cuz maybe you couldn't tell??). I didn't think that I could think of 101 things. I'm tagging Jenny and Spencer and anyone else who wants to do this...
1-I am a Cokaholic, 4th generation. My great-grandma Watts drank the original, the one that had real cocaine in it. My grandma Spracher had a constant supply of it in her basement, which was decorated with Coke items (really cool). My mother raised me on it. It was the ultimate cure for whatever was ailing us. We kept a supply in our fridge and under our sink. We were never wanting. I think that I might have drank Coke before milk as an infant. And now I drink it. I am trying to cut back, though. And sadly, I have converted Spencer to it. Now anytime he is sad or sick, he says "I need a Coke" in a sad pathetic voice. My poor future kids are doomed.
2-I especially prefer Coke in the winter and Pepsi in the summer. I'm not exactly sure why, but I just do. I have a couple of theories. One is that there seems to be more sodium in Pepsi and in the summer it is hot, so you sweat, and when you sweat, you sweat out salt. Therefore, your body craves salt and there is more salt (or at least more of a salty flavor) in Pepsi. In the winter, your body wants to eat and store carbs. There is more sugar (or at least a sweeter taste) in Coke. Therefore, your body craves that sweet, sugary flavor found in Coke. My other theory is that Pepsi advertises for young people in the summer having fun outside. Coke has wintry commercials with polar bears and Santa Claus, etc. I think that maybe we subconsciously are drawn to Coke and/or Pepsi because of those advertisements.
3-I prefer to be barefoot when I can. I can't sleep in socks, unless they are particularly cold. Even then, I wake up in the middle of the night when they are warm and take them off. I hate shoes. They make my feet claustrophobic. I almost always wear clogs, flip-flops, or other slip-ons because I hate my feet being confined tightly. I will also buy shoes several sizes too big for the same reason. My exception to this rule is for running/walking shoes or cleats. I have sock-identity: I wear cute socks with characters or animals or words or designs on them. It's a must. No white socks for me. I also like them to be thin. However, I do have a few thick socks for when my feet are really cold or for skiing, etc.
4-I think that I am beyond ugly without mascara. The sad thing is that I don't put it on enough. I'm sorry to all of you who have to see me without it. I think that I look hideous. It might be because I have big eyes or because I have such dark circles under my eyes or because my eyelashes are so blond or because girls in general don't look good without mascara...I don't know. I just know I look awful without it.
5-I have tattooed eyeliner. I got it when I first moved to Arizona with some of my friends from the soccer team. It really, really hurt. I think that it was worth it for the most part. It has faded a lot, though.
6-I color my hair. I didn't for a long time. But I just don't like my natural color. It is very mousy-brown and flat and almost looks grey. I used to bleach it blond in high school. I bet Spence secretly wishes that I would do it that way again. I think he likes blondes. I just don't like the up-keep required with that. You HAVE to get it done every 6-8 weeks no matter what because the roots will show. It also made my hair really dry.
7-I wish that I looked good in red hair. I have tried this many times and I need to just learn that it doesn't look good. I also wish that I had Natalie or Karlenn's color of hair. I think that they have beautiful hair.
8-I hate lipstick. It always makes me look funny because it is so dark. I just can't get used to it. Plus it dries my lips out and I feel like I have to make sure it looks okay all of the time. I stick to neutral shades of lipgloss or just chapstick or nothing.
9-I hate getting ready. I mean, I really, really hate getting ready. I like BEING ready. But I hate GETTING ready. I especially don't like getting ready for work. I think that people treat me better when I get ready or at least put on mascara, and that bothers me. I figure that I don't need to look nice to do what I do. I mean, I wear pajamas to work for pete's sake. And I work freaking 13 hours plus driving. There just doesn't seem to be a point. And I don't want people to see me for how I look rather then what I do or think. I believe that that can be an issue for a girl in a professional environment. I don't know. Maybe it's all in my head. Besides, I don't think that I am pretty enough for my looks to really get in the way. I also don't wear make-up in hopes of trying to make my skin better.
10-I have the worst skin in the whole world. I can't seem to get my skin to quit breaking out. I have tried everything. I have been going to a dermatologist since I was 14. I have been on Accutane 3+ times. There seems to be no hope for me. I even get zits on other places on my body besides my face. It really sucks.
11-My favorite car is a 1969 Camero, black with thick navy blue racing stripes. I would love to buy one and learn how to fix it up, even. I don't know why. I just think that it would be fun.
12-I am a bad friend. I don't have many friends. And the ones that I have, I am really bad at calling them and staying close with them. I don't know why. I guess that I get super busy and stressed and just don't do it. Then I feel bad that I haven't been taking care of our friendship, so I am afraid to call again. I hope to become a better friend to my friends.
13-I have bone spurs in my neck. I had them at age 20! Can you believe it?! Already! You aren't supposed to be getting those until you are in your 40-50's. And my neck has started to fuse. My C-7 sticks out really far and I can't get it to be straight no matter how good I hold my posture. I'm doomed for serious back/neck pain in my future.
14-I love animals, more than people. Not all people, but people in general. Animals are naturally good natured, only bad people make animals bad-natured. They are so kind and generous and loving. No matter who you are or what you do they just love you. This is especially true of dogs and horses. I think that they are the greatest creatures on this earth. I used to want to be a vet or work in the zoo because I love animals so much, but the fact is that I love them too much. I can't stand to see them in pain or in captivity. I had a boyfriend once that was scared that I would never love him more than I love animals...I guess he was right cuz it didn't work out, ha ha.
15-I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I think that I want to be a CRNA, but it's hard to really know when I haven't actually tried it. I also keep thinking about going to medical school. I'm just not sure. I guess that time will tell. I'd still love to be a professional horse trainer, if it wasn't so unstable. And I'd even love to be good enough at singing or dancing or theater or something. Isn't that silly?
16-I would really love to be a professional student. I love school! I just wish that I could keep going for free and just take all sorts of interesting classes. If I could really just do anything, that is what I would do. Gosh, I wish that I was young again and could be in high school and take a lot of classes for free. You just don't know what you have until you lose it, I guess.
17-I am afraid that I won't be able to have kids (we've been trying).
18-I love adrenaline. I guess I'm what you'd call an adrenaline junky. I like to do things that give me the butterflies in my stomach. I also like being scared, but not really scared. I have two different kinds of scared. I like the one where I'm intense and on edge, like in movies or books or playing spooky games. Not the one where I am really scared and think that something bad is going to happen. It's hard to explain. I'm not scared of ghosts or scary movies. I don't know why. I'm scared of real, horrible things.
19-I get runner's high. I love running, but I don't have as much time for it as I used to. I'm trying to go more.
20-I wish that I could paint and draw well. I've always wanted to take a class, but haven't ever been able to fit it in my schedule. I wish that I was artistic in general.
21-I love to sing, but I'm bad at it. I hate the sound of my voice, especially when I hear it recorded. I am also terrified of singing solo in front of people. I'm such a wuss. You would think that I hated it.
22-I love to dance, all kinds. Sometimes I dance when I am at home alone. I sometimes wish that I hadn't given up dancing when I was little in order to ride horses, but in the end, I think that I made the right choice. I was meant to ride horses.
23-I think that baby powder scents smell gross on me, too. And I hate woman's cologne. I think that it smells gross. They just aren't smells that I would want to wear.
24-I wear Men's cologne to work. I think that it smells good. I enjoy the smell of it. I also think that it has a fresher, cleaner smell and it seems more appropriate for my work.
25-I am clumsy and accident prone. You should hear my accident history.
26-I have really, really bad luck. No matter how bad it gets, it can always, ALWAYS get worse. I have proven that over and over again. And I make so many mistakes. I just can't win, I swear! Someday I'm going to have a bout of good luck because I deserve it and the world needs to balance out all of the bad luck that I have had.
27-My life NEVER slows down. I always think "After such-and-such, then life will be easier." Well, when such-and-such finally happens, life doesn't get easier, something else happens and keeps me stressed and busy. It just never quits. There is always something.
28-I love spending money on other people, and not on myself. This is also true of shopping. I enjoy shopping for other people but not for myself. I am far too picky and make it much to difficult to enjoy it. I love giving gifts to others. It is fun for me and makes me feel good.
29-I love to travel. I don't like the actual traveling part, I just like going to neat places. However, I hate museums. I don't mind a little of museums, but I get bored pretty quickly. I like to go places and enjoy the scenery and the lifestyle of the locals. I love Kauai. I love to be outside in beautiful places.
30-My right eye is bigger than my left. I also have a crooked smile, which exaggerates this feature. So when I smile in pictures it is particularly noticeable. The funny thing is that now when I pose for pictures, I try to remember to smile harder on my right side to compensate for this. I also try to remember to suck in my double chin. It's a lot of work to pose for pictures. Part of the reason that I hate pictures.
31-I love the brand Silver jeans. They are the only ones that are really comfortable and fit well on me. I have found a couple of others that work, but not as good. My butt is really high, like it is almost on my back. And jeans these days are designed to be worn low, but this just doesn't work on my body. Silver's baby. And not Silver Tab. Silver.
32-I wish that I was creative. I am fairly intuitive (is that the right word? When you are good at figuring out how to make something work...?) I am also resourceful. But that is not what I am talking about. I mean really creative, like in art or in writing or in decorating my house, etc. I'm just not. I'm very boring.
33-I am OCD clean at work, but a slob at home. I don't know how that happened. But it did.
34-I clean when I am angry. I don't know why, but it makes me feel better and I can take out my frustration on the thing that I am cleaning. I think that is why Spence tired to piss me off so much. Then I clean...
35-I can't learn a foreign language. I want to, but I just can't. You should hear me try to speak Spanish to my Hispanic patients. It's pretty bad. And I can't understand it at all. I guess that if you count medical jargon and terminology, then I learned a language, but other than that....it seems like a lost cause. Maybe someday Spence will be able to teach me Italian.
36-I can't express emotions very well in person. I'm better in notes or letters. I kind of take pride in my notes because I put my whole heart and soul into them. They take a long time, though, so I hardly ever do them. That's why I am so behind in all of my thank you notes. It just takes too much time and too much out of me to write them. So to EVERYONE, I really am grateful for the things that you have done for me and the things that you have gotten for me, but I am too overwhelmed and it is too hard to write that many notes because of how I write them. I hope that that makes sense. So I'm sorry and THANK YOU.
37-I still haven't technically finished all of my wedding thank you notes (or Christmas or birthday or...). See number 36 for why. Again I'm sorry. It just really stresses me out.
38-I have really low self-esteem. I don't think that I am very good at anything that I do. I don't think that I am very special. And I don't really like myself. I like parts of myself, though.
39-I still find comfort in eating bean burritos. They have been my favorite food forever. And it's like a comfort food for me. When I'm really upset or something, that is what I go for.
40-The Green Mile is my favorite movie. And yes, I watch R-rated movies. I'm a bad Mormon.
41-I take better care of my patients than I do of myself or my house or my husband or my dogs. It's pretty pathetic really. I hope that I do better in the latter things later in life.
42-I feel bad for my future kids. They are going to get bad genetics from me, like bad skin, bad joints, poor health, etc.
43-I would hire a maid and a cook in a heartbeat if I could and never do that stuff again.
44-I used to get ready every day in high school for like 2 hours. And it really didn't help that much.
45-I get nervous in confrontations. When I'm upset I usually do better at it, but when I am not upset I usually chicken out and just let it go. I know, probably no one believes me, but it's true.
46-I'm 25 and don't know how to make friends. I have no friends. I don't make friends very easily. I am afraid to get close to people. I've been hurt too many times. I also get really uncomfortable and awkward. I've lived here in Utah for 2 years now and I really haven't made any good friends. I have co-workers that I get along with, but no real friends. It's pretty sad and pathetic really. I don't know what my problem is.
47-I have ADHD. It's officially diagnosed and we did a chemical test and everything. You can probably tell when I have forgotten to take my medications. I pretty much bounce off the walls.
48-I feel really stupid most of the time. I am not very bright. I make a lot of mistakes. I have had to work really hard to do well in school and at work. It doesn't come naturally to me. I really wish that I was smart.
49-I talk about myself too much. I am really self-centered and I'm not very good about asking questions and being interested in other people. It's not that I am not interested in their life, it's just that when they talk, I think of how they relate to me. How we are the same. So I start to tell them about how I had a similar experience. I guess that I need to learn that they don't care about what I have done or gone through, but they just want me to listen to them and what they are saying and to really hear them. I guess that I just get excited. And I like when I can relate to other people. Maybe I should just keep it to myself. I also interrupt WAY too much. And I want to apologize to everyone in my life for this. I know that I do it and I am really trying to stop. I just get excited and don't slow down enough to stop myself. Again, I am sorry. I know how annoying it is and what a character flaw it is. I'll try to get better.
50-I have a tendency to ruin things. I don't mean to, but I just do. I can't seem to do things right.
51-I'm scared to pray for things because I often get what I pray for and then it's not actually something that I want. It one of those "Be careful what you wish for" kind of things.
52-I hate praying in public. It's one of my greatest fears and fills me full of anxiety. I even have a hard time praying with just Spencer.
53-I'm afraid of failing. I sometimes don't try something because I'm afraid to fail or be bad at it.
54-My favorite holiday is St. Patrick's Day. I don't know why. I think that it is partly because I have a fond memory of my Grandpa Spracher babysitting me on St. Patrick's and telling me stories and traditions and things about it. I enjoy the silliness of it. I like the green beer (not that I drink it) and the pinching and the green and the Blarny Stone and all that silly stuff. I'm kind of fascinated by the Irish people in general. I love the red hair and the accent and the superstitions, etc.
55-I'm afraid that I will be a bad mother. It is seriously one of my greatest fears in life.
56-I think that I am a bad wife. I feel bad for Spencer and all that he has to put up with. I am afraid that he is unhappy. I'm afraid that I am not what he really wanted in a wife and that he is very disappointed. I'm scared that I have ruined his life. I wish that I could do better.
57-I like tragic movies. I figure that they are more realistic. True life isn't happy endings most of the time. It is reassuring to me that my life is normal and that it isn't supposed to be perfect or easy.
58-In spite of the previous item, I still have a fettish for fairy tales. I loved them as a child. I just knew that I was really a princess and that a price would come rescue me and ride me away into the sunset on a beautiful white horse along a gorgeous beach and we would live happily ever after as he adored me forever and gave me everything that I wanted. I somehow expected my life to become a fairy tale. I am sometime disappointed that it's not always a fairy tale. However, in some ways my life has been a fairy tale. I have such a wonderful handsome price and we have our own blissful happy ending. It isn't perfect. And happily ever after doesn't end at the wedding. It takes a lot of work and detication and love. But that is almost more romatic to me than the easy fairy tale ending where nothing else ever goes wrong. It's real and it's beautiful. And I love my husband and my life. We are really happy in spite of our trials. I think that I have a fairy tale of my own that is better than the traditional.
59-I swear. I don't say really, really bad words. But I need to stop. I am often not even aware of it. That's how bad it is.
60-I have a short temper. I am an emotional person in general, so this includes my anger. It doesn't take a whole lot to get me riled up.
61-I get scared in social situations. I get really, really nervous. This is especially true when it is with people that I don't know. I also get scared when there are lots of people. I do better in smaller groups with people that I know. I just have really bad social anxiety. I am really shy at first and just like to hide and watch people. I have been told that this makes me appear stuck up on first impression. I just freak out.
62-I'm paranoid. I always think that people are talking about me and saying bad things. I always think that people hate me or think bad things about me.
63-I put my foot in my mouth a lot. I forget to think before I speak. It has gotten me in a lot of trouble.
64-I'm afraid of my husband leaving/divorcing me. I have abandonment issues, I guess. It is one of my biggest fears.
65-Birds, especially roosters, still kind-of freak me out. I have overcome the fear of them. But I still think that they can be creepy.
66-I don't like scrapbooking, but I do it because I like having it done. I am a packrat. I like to keep everything, especially things that are representative of good memories.
67-I hate how I look, especially in pictures. Or maybe I just hate how I look and I can only really see myself in pictures. Although people tell me that I don't really look like me in pictures. I also hate looking at myself in the mirror. I avoid it when I can. I think that I am chubby and unattractive.
68-I am an insomniac. I am getting better. Sonata has helped a lot. Work has made it worse. It is really hard to sleep in the day. And then I get really, really tired. Instead of sleeping, I watch really crappy t.v. I can't find the energy to get up and do something productive, so I just lay there and hope that it will somehow rest me enough for work.
69-I love cuddling. It is my favorite hobby. I could do it forever. It is especially good with Spencer. He's a cuddler, too. Thank goodness! I don't know what I would do if I married someone who wasn't.
70-I hate my eyebrows. Parts of them won't grow and the hairs are really thick and long. They definitely need some professional help. Sorry to everyone who has to look at them.
71-I have really bad joint. My right knee and ankle in particular. But I also throw my hips out of joint sometimes. My ankles are small and have a hard time supporting my weight, especially during long hours and running, etc.
72-I have scoliosis and sever back pain. I would love to get a professional massage every week. i also would like to have back surgery before it becomes a really bad problem.
73-I can't stand having my nails long. As soon as they get long enough for my teeth to fit under, I have to cut them or else I will bite them off. I would like to have long, French-manicured nails if I could stand them and afford them, but I can't do either. I would also love to get peticures regularly.
74-I love my wedding band. We got it in Hawaii. It is beautiful and has gorgeous etchings in it. I just love it.
75-I don't brush my teeth enough. But I've never had a cavity, so I'm not very motivated. I've been trying to do better.
76-I have a permanent retainer on my lower teeth, and one for my upper teeth that I am supposed to wear at night, but I don't. I hope that my teeth don't move so much that I have to have braces again.
77-I still wish that I could ride horses all day. It is the one thing the world that really makes me happy, no matter what. It's like magic to me. Maybe someday...
78-I am a picky eater. However, I am not as bad a Spencer. My parents always said that my husband would hate that I was so picky, but he is worse than me, so it works out. I hate fish. I like shellfish and that's about it. I also hate beets, turnips, sweet potatoes, yams, zuccini, and anything that is like those things. There are a lot of things that I used to hate that I like now. It's pretty interesting.
79-I love pussywillows. They are so soft and fuzzy. They are one of the first signs of spring. They are very nostalgic for me.
80-Spring is my favorite season. I like all of the seasons for different reasons, but there is something very hopeful and exciting about the spring.
81-I feel guilty about things that aren't even my fault. And I REALLY feel guilty about the things that are my fault.
82-I'm a perfectionist. You probably can't tell because I do so many things so poorly. But I really am. And I am really hard on myself.
83-I feel inferior to my sisters and sister-in-laws and most women in general.
84-I am fiercely loyal to my loved ones and good friends. If you mess with someone that I care about, you'd better watch out. The same thing goes for my dogs.
85-I have a good memory--sometimes too good. I can remember lots of details from my childhood.
86-I love flowers. I love lilacs, especially the purple ones with white outlines. They remind me of my great-grandma Watts. I love May tree flowers, i.e. Boulevard in Idaho Falls. Drive down that in May with your windows down. Yum! I love gardenias, my wedding flower. I love orchids and lilies. I love roses and gerber daisies. I like many different colored flowers. I like bleeding hearts. I love the smell of Russian Olive Tree flowers. Most people don't, but I love it. I hate bird of paradise flowers, I think that they are cliche. I'm not very fond of carnations either. They are okay as a filler flower, but not as the main flower.
87-I am very nostalgic. Things from my childhood are very dear to me.
88-I have a lot of love to give, but I am not very good at expressing it. I love people more than they know. I also think that I love them more than they love me back: i.e. my husband, my grandpa, my sisters, my parents, etc.
89-I am scared that my kids will hate me. I'm also scared that we won't be close. I hope that we have a good relationship and that they feel comfortable enough to come to me with their problems. I hope that I never make them feel like they have to be perfect and I hope that they don't think that I judge them.
90-It is important to me to not be judgemental. I think that I notice things and talk about things just like everyone else. But I really hope that I am never judgemental or hold people to my beliefs.
91-I want to go on an African Safari and hike Mt. Kilamanjaro. I want to go to Europe, especially Austria, Italy, and southern Spain. I want to go to Fiji and Bora Bora and Moorea and stay in an over-water bungalo. I want to go to Guatamala.
92-I would like to go on a couple's mission. I'd really like it if we could go now while we are young, but I don't think that they allow that. So I guess that we will have to go later.
93-I used to love to swim. Now I hate my face being under water. I really hate having water in my nose. It really bothers me and freaks me out. I also have a hard time tolerating the chlorine in my eyes.
94-My hair used to be straight and silky. Now it's frizzy and curly. I hate it.
95-I get nauseous with ANY sickness I get or when I'm tired or when I am really emotional. So I get nauseous a LOT. I am sick of people asking me if I'm pregnant.
96-I love the smell of almond extract and vanilla extract and gasoline.
97-I have photophobia, which is extreme light sensitivity to the eyes. I can't stand bright lights or sunlight in my eyes. I have a really bad time when the sun bounces off the water or the snow. I just can't handle it. I have sensitive eyes in general. I need to get lasix sugery on my eyes. My eyes are always red from my contacts and get infections much too often. It's pretty unhealthy I think.
98-I wish that I was a good photographer. I took a class once. I used to want to be a lightning photographer or a photographer for animal plantet or national geographic or something. I love animals and I love traveling and I love nature and I love taking pictures. It's too bad that I'm not good at it.
99-I am almost always late. Sorry everyone. I'm trying to get better...
100-I have bad health. I think that I am going to die young.
101-I am a hopeless romantic. I feel really bad for Spencer. I am such a romantic that I am always trying to get him to be romantic and I think that I hold him to really high standards. Poor guy. I am also very idealistic. I've even been teased at work about it.
Sorry this is so long. Like I said. I talk way too much about myself.
I promise that I am going to put pictures on and actually blog soon. I've been really busy at work. The only reason that I was able to do this was because I am at work and it's a night shift and I have time. I hope you all don't hate it. Love you and miss you all!!
