Moose's 101 Things You Wish You Never Knew

1. My favorite movie is The Godfather.
2. My favorite animal is the three-toed sloth.
3. My favorite ice cream is daiquiri ice.
4. My favorite color is yellow, out of pity.
5. My favorite football team is the Vikings, but I don’t usually wear purple because I don’t want to give people the wrong idea.
6. I like the smell of gasoline.
7. I like pizza so much I should marry it.
8. I like going to baseball games in the summer.
9. While at the baseball games I always get the ice cream in the miniature baseball cap.
10. It bugs me that baseball players use steroids.
11. I know that most football players use steroid too, but I don’t care.
12. I refer to Sports Center as the news.
13. I have admitted “man crushes” on Peyton Manning, Cal Ripken Jr., Barack Obama, and Rosie O’Donnell.
14. I am a closet NASCAR and UFC fan.
15. Ergo, I am closet white trash.
16. My best friend is a bush.
17. I have to sleep with socks on.
18. On average I shower twice a day.
19. I make lists for everything.
20. I color coordinate my planner.
21. I can only eat vegetables when they’re cooked and fruit when it’s not.
22. In 9th grade I was arrested on a school bus for mooning.
23. I still moon people.
24. I’ve got dumps like a truck and more booty than a pirate.
25. I’m not scared of heights.
26. I’m scared of falling from really high places.
27. I’m not scared of blood or needles.
28. I just faint when I see them (It’s a medical condition).
29. When I’m at the zoo and the monkeys throw poop at me, I throw it back. (Do unto others, you stupid monkeys).
30. I’m pretty good at Dance Dance Revolution.
31. I rock at Tecmo Super Bowl.
32. Brianna kills me at Madden.
33. I pretend like I let her win, but really it bugs the crap out of me.
34. In elementary school I was the undefeated champion at butt-ball.
35. It’s a good thing too, because I have a humungous target.
36. I would always cheat while playing “Heads up, 7up”.
37. I would just peak at their shoes.
38. I still feel guilty to this day.
39. When I was younger I used to cheer for BYU only because I knew my dad would be grumpy if they lost.
40. I think Brianna does the same with me.
41. I used to think my dad worked with alligators at the airport.
42. I used to think my mom was crazy because she would wash her hair in the sink.
43. I used to think Jesus wanted me for a sun bean.
44. I used to think a sun bean was like pork-n-beans, except for a lot sunnier.
45. I used to think a home maker was a carpenter.
46. I used to think “a quarter after” meant twenty-five minutes after (a quarter= 25 cents).
47. I used to think you could pet all the animals at the petting zoo.
48. I was once bit by a chicken at the petting zoo.
49. I then threw poop at it.
50. I subsequently got chicken pox, which created further confusion.
51. I love fried chicken.
52. I like dark meat.
53. I like breasts on all chickens and most people (not men).
54. I don’t like salad because I think it tastes like grass.
55. I used to eat grass.
56. And sand (it’s crunchy).
57. I used to spill something at every meal.
58. I used to throw my crayons down the heater vent because I liked the way that it smelled.
59. I couldn’t tie my own shoes until junior high.
60. I wore Velcro shoes until junior high.
61. I used to eat “sugar cereal” (sugar covered in milk… I didn’t care for the Corn Flakes much).
62. I have bad teeth.
63. I like to eat all the crunchy parts of my Lucky Charms first and leave the marshmallows until the end.
64. Yes. I still eat cereal with marshmallows.
65. Especially Count Chocula.
66. One time I ate a whole box of Franken-berry cereal in a single sitting.
67. Afterwards I pooped pink for three straight days.
68. I once mistook Desitin for toothpaste.
69. I eat cookies for breakfast.
70. I eat breakfast for dinner.
71. I like puppies that don’t poop outside my bedroom door every night.
72. Nevermind. I don’t like puppies.
73. I hate tipping. All expected costs should be calculated into the final price.
74. I hate The Sound of Music.
75. I hate traffic.
76. I hate waiting in lines.
77. I hate cats.
78. Cats hate me.
79. Sometimes when I’m driving and I see a cat I pretend to try and hit it with my car… unless I really hit it… then it’s for real.
80. I think metro-sexuals are just gay guys who don’t know that they’re gay yet.
81. Out of four brothers I am by far the shortest.
82. Out of four brothers I am the only one capable of growing facial hair.
83. On a P-day my companion and I took a boat out of the country.
84. I ate pasta almost everyday for two years.
85. I came back from my mission pretty fat.
86. I painted my first car with house paint and rollers.
87. My first car broke down my first day of high school.
88. I think my French teacher in junior high had a crush on me.
89. I don’t like French people.
90. I once wrapped up a box of cow poop and gave it to someone as a present.
91. I’ve mentioned poop in five (now six) of my 101 things.
92. That means that this list is about 5% crap.
93. That equals a 100% chance that Jenny won’t link this to her blog.
94. I don’t think bodily functions are as offensive as my sister does.
95. Due to their furry nature, I believe peaches should be considered as mammals and not as fruit.
96. I am ticklish.
97. But don’t try to tickle me.
98. I don’t like it.
99. I may just get super pissed and jump-kick you in the face.
100. I don’t like blogging because I feel like it compromises my manhood.
101. I blog anyways because it bugs me when I start something that doesn’t get finished (kind of like this list).